Sunday, February 4, 2007

Terror Tour 1/22/2007

After 1 hour of sleep, we got in the van and headed towards Detroit, MI. Nick noticed tons of smoke coming out of the trailer. We pulled over but couldn't really see what was wrong with it. We started driving again and it just kept getting worse. We found the cause of the problems was that the bearings in the trailer tire were just shot! Metal was just rubbing on Metal and making a mess. The wheel had almost completely fallen off. That could have been a real catastrophe. Anytime something like that happens it just scares you. So many bands have wrecked, had all their possessions burn to the ground(Buske), or gotten killed from these kind of accidents.

We found a trailer repair shop in the phone book but got lost on the way to the place. At a traffic light we asked Misha to ask a parallel car where the highway was. Misha rolled down his window and then just stared at the person and then looked back at all of us with defeat on his face exclaiming, "His window is up." No shit, it was 18 fucking degrees out.

Eventually we found the repair shop. We dropped the trailer and went out for lunch at Applebee's. How fucking disgusting is that place? GROSS. The only reason people go there is for half price appetizers and even those suck. This wasn't any ordinary Applebee's though, this Applebee's was GHETTO. The waiter was terrible and was just sweating bullets. He was bringing out one drink at a time and taking 5 minutes in between each delivery. Some people's food eventually arrived but a few of us had nothing sitting in front of us. We asked the waiter what happened to our food and he looded directly at us and said, "FUCK!" That is how you know you are in good hands and dining in a professional atmosphere. I think the waiter was on ecstasy. Wait, does anyone still do ecstasy in 2007? Remember when Brandon Walsh did Euphoria with Emily Valentine? He was all laid out on the hood of the car? The guy that they bought it from just had a big "4" on his shirt and that is how you knew what he was selling. Shit was amazing! Anyways, we overheard the manager walk into the back room saying, "Everything all right back there, Ya'll look lost." Yes, they were.

The trailer took a few hours to fix. We learned about regular trailer maintenance in order to avoid sketchy situations like that in the future. By the time it was ready to go, Nick had to drive crazier than normal just to make it to Detroit for our set time. On the drive, buske had to defecate and said, "Come On! My asshole!" It sounded like he said, "Cum on my asshole". It was weird.

We got to The Magic Stick about 8:30 and had to load up 2 flights of stairs and push through all the kids with our gear. Great times. A homeless guy came up to us and told us he was the hottest rapper in Detroit and that he was the next 50 cent. That would mean he was extremely wealthy, sells .

I have never been to The Magic Stick before and it was a very pleasant surprise. It had the quintessential layout for a hardcore show. Perfect size stage, nice sized room, cool atmosphere. The show was great. Kids were everywhere. Detroit has a legendary scene and it is one of the few places where there are equal amounts old sketchy tattooed dudes and young mesh short wearing emaciated children. The girls in Detroit are beautiful too, they all look like they could beat me up, which is definitely something I look for.

After the show we had free bowling and Pizza at the bar downstairs. All the bands hung out and bowled alongside a great cross-section of locals. You had punk rockers, gangsters, booty shakin' girls, skinny hardcore tweakers, and gay black men.

I think the pizza really fucked my world up. While bowling, my stomach just started to turn into knots and I felt that my intestines were going to burst out of me, "Alien" style. I ran to the bathroom and wouldn't you know it, there was puke all over the toilet seat and no door. How can you shit without a door? I told my boy "Lisp" about the dilemma and he took me to some secret bathroom in the club nextdoor. We get over there and of course it is locked. He has pull in Detroit so we got the key, and not a minute to soon. Before I was even over the seat, I had projectile diarrhea shooting out of my ass. It was ugly. On the drive to the motel, I almost had to shit in a plastic bag. That would have been uglier. I stayed very near to the bathroom all night.

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