Terror Tour 2/9/2007

I was too tired to go into the hotel room once we arrived in Denver. I slept in the van until 10 am. I rounded up a few others and we went to a nearby Denny's. There, we force-fed Misha 3 pancakes, 2 slices of French toast, 6 pieces of bacon, 3 pieces of sausage, 2 eggs, and hashbrowns. We don't really care if he gains weight, we just all think it is funny to watch him eat due to his insane mannerisms and his use of the word, "Bomb" to describe food.

While driving, we noticed a very short midget dancing on the street corner with a cardboard sign. I have nothing against little people, but this was downright degrading. In addition to being vertically challenged, it looked like she had Progeria. Progeria is Scott and my favorite disease because it is so regularly featured on Maury. And you thought he only did "You are NOT the father!" shows. I love when Maury says that they are very special young people and tells them that not only are they getting a skateboard, they are getting skateboarding lessons from Tony Hawk!!!!!

Before the show started, I received an 18 box shipment of merch. Wait, you still want to tour with a band? Getting 18 dumb boxes full of stupid t-shirts means that you have to go through all 18 boxes, count everything in them, and then try to find room for them in your trailer amongst all the band's gear, all your personal belongings ( I pack like a girl), and all the merch you already have in stock. FUN STUFF!

Maris the Great (Maristhegreat.com) was at the show. Maris is a very tall mohawked man who dresses up as a homosexual zombie and walks around hardcore shows. He does a website where he "kills" bands with some impressive makeup work. He once asked if he could suck Scott's dick. I don't think Scott took to kindly to that. Myke from District 9 beat him up once. Myke was also banned from this show. How classic was Cesar from District 9 in the N.Y.H.C. documentary?

Maris licked my hand and I got fake blood all over me. It was definitely unsanitary. I don't mind the whole gay thing (most people think I am at least bi due to my incessant talk of dicks), I actually mind the zombie thing. If you walk around your whole life pretending to be a zombie, you are essentially a zombie. It is just weird to me and makes me question Maris's upbringing.

The show was AWESOME! The best Terror show in Colorado ever. After the show we went to the motel room and caught the re-run of the "White Rapper Show". BUSHWHICK GUEST APPEARANCE! The Geto Boys are an all time favorite and it was dope to see that little creep get some love. Serch gave Sullee every opportunity to end the whole Stop Snitchin' epidemic and he just failed.

After our dose of reality television (which also included that weird show, "Bad Girl's Club"), we tried to order pizza. Papa John's refused to deliver the pizza due to the area we were staying in allegedly being quite dangerous. Martin was incensced! He actually didn't even want to eat pizza, but he grabbed the phone from Nick and over the course of 5 minutes said such gems as, "Listen, you aren't going to punish us because of where we are staying. We are faced with a problem and you are going to give us a solution. Stop being a pussy! You are the worst manager I have ever come in contact with! I know what it is like, I once had a friend who got shot in his balls because he was delivering a pizza in the wrong neighborhood. What are you going to do? HUH?" Needless to say, we didn't get pizza that night.